Please, let me clarify. You don't have to have discovered the code for DNA. However, I find it difficult to have a wonderful conversation with a shallow, blubbering idiot. This does not mean that you aren't a good person, it just means that you would be slightly less interesting.
Thusly, I have very few female friends. Most females my age that I meet are either very materialistic, shallow, or have completely different interests as me. I am a huge nerd. I love talking about computers and websites and outer space. All of it just blows my mind. Most girls don't care. I have two close female friends who I see on a regular basis. They both like that sort of thing and are intelligent people.
So I mentioned to my friend that I too have trouble finding people of the female persuasion who suit my tastes for friendship. He seemed to be losing hope because most of the intelligent girls he meets are either 1) hideous or 2) taken or 3) uninterested. It was at this point that I told him not to worry, and I unlocked the secrets to the geeky-nerdy-intelligent-girl universe.
I, for the first time, tried to understand how and why I am attracted to people. This is different for everyone, but it may be similar for some of the intelligent women in your life. Here it is:
1) There IS an attractiveness prerequisite.
Think of this as Math 101. You have to take it. However, once it is met, it doesn't really count much for anything else. I have a fairly low attractiveness standard. You can't have three eyes. This standard is different for everyone, and everyone has one. It does not mean they are shallow, it means they are human.
2) Once the prereq is met, I have to be able to have an engaging, meaningful, intelligent conversation with them.
Basically, if we have Mr. Tall Dark And Handsome and Mr. Just Above The Prereq, if they BOTH exhibit equally awesome conversation capabilities, they are pretty much on a level playing field. For me, at least, physical attractiveness only works to get your foot in the door. Think of it as your resume. The interview is what gets you the job.
3) Level of Emo-ness.
Everyone has moments. I understand this. But, insecurity is not attractive. Not many people enjoy dating someone that they have to "fix". I will be a shoulder to cry on if you need it, but you can't need it every week. Be confident in who you are. Be comfortable with yourself. That is all I ask.
So basically, for me, there are three ways to measure the attractiveness of a person in the beginning stages of knowing them. The MOST IMPORTANT is the ability to carry on a conversation. So, if you know a girl who enjoys intellectual pursuits, is pretty dorky, and likes dorky guys, she might have similar ways to gauge attractiveness, whether she knows it or not. Just something to keep in mind...
^_^
